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//Belfires Burning// is an interactive hypertext story.
Throughout the story you will find hypertext links in blue.
Some of these will expand the story description and provide additional knowledge.
Others will let you choose paths for the main character to take through the story.
In interactive fiction you are not only the reader but also a creator, navigating your way through the author's world.
Some actions you choose will change the outcome of the story.
You may save the game by using the save button to the left.
by Cassandra Wolf
© 2017
You pick up the dusty book from the table in front of you. Its binding was once a deep red leather, but now it cracks and flakes in your hand.
You realize, as you open the cover, that this is not an ordinary book but a recording of a very personal journey. The book is full of odd drawings and notes scribbled in the margins.
In fact, as you [[start to read|book]], you find yourself becoming more and more wrapped up in the story being told. It is, in fact, as if the journey is happening to you, as if the journey is somehow both yours and the narrator's.................
//Nine woods in the balefire throw
Add the torch and burn them slow.
From this song a lesson learn
As you watch the fire burn.
Moon and stars and sun will show
Seasons come and seasons go.//
-from //[[Song of the Nine Woods|aboutSong]]//
[[Turn the page|Prologue]]
//Song of the Nine Woods//
is created by Cassandra Wolf.
It is adapted from the poem
//The Rede of the Wiccae//
by Phyllis "Lady Gwen" Thompson (circa 1975)
[[Return|previous()]]
//First is birch of silver bark
Gather when the moon is dark.
Life and moon tides wax and wane
Rest in dark or work in vain.//
The words
were burned into my brain
with leaping flames
and [[dancing feet|first2]].
The year is divided into four equal parts
marked by the passage of the sun.
Winter Solstice
Spring Equinox
Summer Solstice
Autumnal Equinox
We also celebrate
two fire-festivals each year:
May Eve and Mayday fall
halfway between
the Spring Equinox
and the Summer Solstice.
Summers-End falls
halfway between
the Autumnal Equinox
and the Winter Solstice
also marks
the beginning of the New Year.
[[Return|previous()]]
But I am no longer a child
to be chased away from the May Eve festivties when it grows dark.
I walk through the meadow which gives [[my clan|clans]] its name
my toes chilly in the short new grass underfoot.
A light breeze lifts the hair that escapes my long braid.
I am fifteen autumns old
and by the traditions of the [[Ravenstead|stead]]
I am almost an adult.
No one can complain it is too cold for me to go barefoot.
The slope of the hill
which protects our clan's [[common house|houses]]
finally hides me from view.
Out of sight of my clan
I [[walk faster|SteppingStones]],
gauging the angle of the sun.
Mayday is a festival of late spring
a celebration
of the awakening of the earth after its long winter sleep
of the new growth of plants
of the fertility of the animals.
Mayday marks
the beginning of summer
the growing season
and the end of nighttime frost.
[[Return|previous()]]
There are 13 clans in the Ravenstead,
descendants of the original 13 families that settled here.
They take their names from the land
where they settled and built their homesteads.
Meadows
Vine
Hill
Stone
Brook
Nightengale
Green
Lee
Alder
Willow
Heron
Elm
Birch
[[Return|previous()]]
<img src="http://i1305.photobucket.com/albums/s558/ladycass2/ravensteadmap.sketch.pencilled.complete_zpsl0dchssv.jpg" width="500" height="300" alt="Ravenstead map">
[[Return|previous()]]
The Ravenstead is divided
into 13 homesteads
around a central commons called the Green.
Each homestead
is made up of a main common house
where the clan gathers
and often cooks and eats together.
Spread out throughout the homestead
are smaller dwellings
called lairs
for each family group.
The clans' common houses all have names:
Meadowlair
Vinland
Hillfort
Stonehearth
Leeward
Greenbriar
Alderlan
Nightenlair
Birch Bark
Elmwood
Heronwade
Willowstand
Brook Bend
[[Return|previous()]]
The wide, flat stepping stones are cold as I cross the creek
that borders the meadow
and follow it a little way into the [[Elderwood]].
I scramble up onto a large boulder overlooking the stream
my toes just above the rippling surface of the water.
It is my favorite place for a little peace and privacy
away from the busyness of the Meadowlair.
It is also the perfect place to [[work witchery|witchery]] or [[write in my journal|journal]].
Some say the Elder Kin created the Elderwood
to protect us.
Some say it is their home
and the Elder Kin led us here during the Great Cull
that destroyed so many people.
Others say
that the Ravenstead is the only village left
that there are no more people
that there is nothing beyond the Elderwood.
[[Return|previous()]]
It is an excellent day for witchery
especially love witchery
to focus the mind of someone I desire
and call them to me.
The moon is waxing and almost full
fourteen days past the Spring Equinox
and the [[festival|festivals]] of Mayday
nearly a moon hence
is already on the minds of everyone at Ravenstead.
In my shoulder bag
I have everything I need
to accomplish the witchery.
[[There is only one problem.|w2]]
I dig my journal out of my shoulder bag
thumbing through to find an empty page.
My journal is full
but little of its contents will help me
when I face the initiation ordeals in the autumn.
Drawings of the Elderwood
and my dream-visions
spill into the margins of my poetry
and pages of my rambling thoughts.
I am going to have to weed out
all those drawings of Dusty
before Marjory sees them--
"You can't be studying."
[[I slam the journal shut.|sirenna]]
It is only Sirenna
but there are some things
I do not want even my best friend
to know.
"Your aunt Marjory said you ran off to write in your journal.
I knew you would be here.
Are you really studying?" Sirenna asks.
"No."
"Let's [[go out in the meadow|MeadowSit]] where we can sit in the sun."
We choose a spot
at the edge of the Elderwood.
The new grass shows through
the bent and dried stalks of last year.
We stretch out
journals and bags piled around us
luxuriating in the strengthening sun.
Sirenna rolls onto her back
the unbraided length of her red-gold hair
bright against the grass.
"Mayday is coming and the lilacs are almost ready to bloom.
I think I will make a love charm out of lilac leaves.
[[You should too.|shake]]"
Sirenna's journal lies abandoned beside her
a small volume
its pages loose.
[[I pick it up|pick]]
and try to decipher her spidery handwriting.
//Tall.
Blond.
Good with his hands//
she has written there.
I read it aloud
and laugh.
Sirenna blushes
and her freckles blend into the ruddy color.
"You know you're not supposed to name a specific person
when you make a love charm.
You're only supposed to say
the qualities you would like your mate to have."
"You know Marjory
is going to look at our journals before Mayday," I say.
"So I'll tear that page out."
"You've hardly any blank pages left."
"I'll make new ones. What about you?"
"I have plenty of pages left."
Sirenna sighs
like I am the most exasperating person she knows.
I probably am.
"Are you going to make a love charm?" she asks again.
"Why?" I ask,
although I know the answer
but I do not want to tell anyone
not even Sirenna
[[who I like|like]].
"Don't you want to celebrate Mayday?" Sirenna persists.
"I don't intend to go into the Elderwood with anyone on May Eve, if that's what you are asking me."
"I would go. If Lynx--if someone asked me."
Sirenna closes her eyes against the sun.
She is half a year older than me
and closer to her initiation.
"I'm not ready for an Elderwood mating,"
I say
"Not even with--"
I almost speak his name
"[[--someone special|special]]."
Sirenna's eyes fly open
and she sits up.
"There is someone you like!"
"There is not."
"Yes, there is! You almost said it!"
she crows. "Come on! Tell me! You can't keep this from me!"
"Yes, Tansy,"
teases a voice
an all-too-familiar masculine voice.
"Tell us. Tell us [[who you would follow|Dusty]] into the Elderwood."
I recognize his voice
recognize too the familiar soothing feeling
his presence always brings.
He has thrown his shirt on carelessly
as if he left the lair in some hurry.
Only the middle button
is caught in a buttonhole
and bits of untanned skin peek out.
His pants are worn at the cuffs
and he too is barefoot.
His hair is cedar reddish-brown and shaggy
the ends curling up where they touch his shoulders.
<<if $DustyFacts is true>>His eyes are green flecked with brown
and to me he is [[perfect in every way but one.|summons]]
<<elseif $DustyFacts is false>>His eyes are green flecked with brown
and to me he is [[perfect in every way but one.|perfect]]
<</if>>
“Marjory wants you,” Dusty says, looking at me.
“Now? We're studying!” Sirenna protests.
[[I laugh|study]]
at her definition of //study.//
"Why not now?" I ask.
"What's going on?"
"I'd better [[let Marjory explain|walk]] that," Dusty says
and his face becomes a mask
hiding something he wants to tell me
but knows he shouldn't.
<<silently>>
<<set $LoveCharm to true>>
<<set $MakeLC to true>>
<<endsilently>>"Sure," I say
daring to [[evade Marjory's summons|sw1]] for a while longer.
"I'd better hurry," I say. "You know Marjory,"
which we all do
only too well.
Sirenna nods.
"I'm walking back
through the lilacs.
I hear
they're almost ready to bloom."
I sling my bag over my shoulder.
Dusty drops into step beside me.
Without speaking
[[we choose the long way back to the lair|back]]
through the woods instead of straight across the meadow.
<<set $DustyLove = $DustyLove + 5>>
Our fingers touch again
and this time
our fingers tighten around each other.
We're not exactly holding hands
but it's close.
"You didn't have to come with me," I say.
"Maybe I wanted to," he says
although he does not look at me.
"We haven't had much time to talk since my initiation."
"Marjory's been keeping us all busy,
especially with [[Mayday coming up.|fierce]]"
<<set $DustyBro = $DustyBro + 5>>The path is not very wide
but I shift over a step
putting some distance
between us.
Dusty does not seem
to notice.
"Marjory must be
keeping you busy," he says.
"Seems like [[I rarely see you|bro1]] these days."
"We could skip out on May Eve,"
I suggest.
His eyes meet mine and hold.
"We can leave before the ritual begins, when it's starting to get dark. Marjory will be too busy to notice."
"Skip ritual?" Dusty sounds scandalized.
"I like it."
He smiles.
"[[What will we do?|do]]"
Without warning [[Lynx Lee and three other boys round a bend in the path.|round]]
[[The Pack]] has arrived.
The Pack
is a group of boys
between the ages of fourteen and twenty.
All but the youngest are initiated.
None of them are mated.
[[Return|previous()]]
The kitchen in the main house at Meadowlair is busy.
It is bread-making day
and the tabletops and counters are covered
with freshly baked loaves
and bread pans waiting to go in the oven.
The whole room has a sweet yeasty smell.
Aunt Marjory is a moving center of calm
supervising the youngest children
as they cut out biscuits for supper.
The other aunties laugh and gossip as they work.
Marjory [[stops when she sees me|mw1a]]
and wipes her hands on the towel tucked into her belt.
<<silently>>
<<set $DustyLoveSpell to true>>
<<endsilently>>From the bottom of my shoulder bag
I draw out a smooth gray stone
the size of my palm.
Three nights ago
I hid it under Dusty’s bed at the Meadowlair
and I retrieved it
when he headed out to do chores this morning.
It should be suitably charged with his energy
and [[ready for the working|w5]].
I mark the stone with three symbols
cup the stone in my hands
and [[breathe out my desire|w6]].
My breath dries the blood
as I murmur
//Turn his heart to me
bring me joy and love
take the message through
the water and my blood.//
<<silently>>
<<set $DustyStone to true>>
<<endsilently>>
//Turn his heart to me
bring me joy and love
take the message through
the water and my blood.//
The stone sinks
and settles onto the sandy creek bottom
almost indistinguishable from the other stones.
//So shall my will be done.//
I blow out a deep
pent-up breath.
[[The witching is complete.|w7]]
"You want us to go now?" Ivy asks,
turning from the dishpan
where she is working her way through mountains of dishes
from the bread-baking.
"Now," Marjory snaps.
"I need that branch before supper."
"Anything is better than doing dishes,"
Ivy says, happy to be released from her chore.
"What's the branch for, Auntie?"
"Harmony Green is pregnant," Marjory says,
her lips thinning into a grim line.
[[`"Now go. Both of you. And don't dawdle."`|mw3]]
Death is not the end of something
it is the beginning of a new cycle.
Once someone
or something
like an animal or a tree
dies
it does not cease to exist
but only changes form
and crosses over
to another plane of existence.
[[Return|previous()]]
We take the path that heads west
skirting the green
and duck into the Elderwood on a little footpath
just beyond the Birch clan's lair.
Twelve-year-old Ivy chatters brightly
picking wildflowers
and sticking them into her hair.
[[I am quiet, weighing Marjory's words.|mw4]]
Harmony is eighteen years old
initiated
and proficient in the ways of witchery.
She is bright
and bubbly as a springtime stream
and her baby might have been fathered
by any of a half-dozen boys of the Pack.
Who she will [[choose as a mate|mate]]
is a good question
but not one that should bother Marjory
unless she is [[afraid of losing one of the clan boys|mw5]]
to the Greens.
Dusty is [[clan.|clan]]
But we are not related by blood.
He was three years old
when one of my aunties chose Dusty's mother
to be her mate
and she and Dusty came to live at the Meadowlair.
Dusty's father was probably a Willow
he looks like them.
But no matter where his blood traces
we were raised in the same clan.
In the Ravenstead that makes him
an unsuitable mate.
<<if $DustyFacts is true>>[[Marjory would never approve|w4]] of an attraction between us
not even a casual mating in the Elderwood
like I might have with any of the other boys.
<<elseif $DustyFacts is false>>[[Marjory would never approve|summons]] of an attraction between us
not even a casual mating in the Elderwood
like I might have with any of the other boys.
<</if>>
"If Marjory is waiting for you, you'd better go," Sirenna says,
and
knowing Marjory
she's right.
"I'm going back the long way," she says
"if you want to walk with me."
I wonder if I should [[walk back with Sirenna|SirennaWalk]]
knowing she will want to [[make love charms|SirennaWalk]]
or if [[Dusty will walk with me|DustyWalk]]
if I refuse to join her.
Sirenna grabs for the journal.
"I mean I want someone who can build things.
Give me that!"
"Sounds like Lynx Lee to me," I say,
and [[toss the book at her|toss]].
Dusty smiles. “It’s too springy a day to be studying. Save that for rainy gray days.”
"I don’t think there are enough
rainy gray days left," I say,
and tuck my journal into my shoulder bag
before anyone gets any ideas about looking inside it.
“You’d better not be neglecting your work,” Dusty says,
[[a hint of warning in his voice.|warn]]
Sirenna gathers up her loose pages
crawling around on hands and knees.
“Listen to you.
You just initiated last moon
and now you're talking like an elder.
Seems to me
since you had to take the tests
twice
you don’t have any cause to talk.”
“That’s exactly why I have cause to talk.
You’re up for initiation at Summer Solstice,
Tansy at Summers-end,
and neither of you
ought to be slacking off.
[[Especially now.”|now]]
Our pace slows
as the woods close around the path
hiding us from all except the trees
and any [[Elder Kin]] who care to observe us.
The path is barely wide enough
to walk next to each other
and our fingers brush
once
twice
as we walk.
For a moment I can't decide if
[[I want him to hold my hand|HandHold]]
or if
[[he is too close to a brother to me|bro]]
to have those kinds of thoughts.
"I hate Mayday. And May Eve," Dusty says
and he sounds fierce.
"The only thing people think about is pairing up.
It's the only topic of conversation.
Who is getting together?
Who is going to duck into the Elderwood on May Eve?
I hate it all."
[[I love Mayday.|LoveMay]]
Unfortunately, I have no plan.
I have nothing
but wanting to spend time away from the eyes of others.
"I'm not sure," I admit,
"but we'll think of something."
"Something far removed from the Mayday madness," he agrees.
I do not mind just a tiny bit of the madness.
Maybe just a kiss or two.
But I will [[give up the madness|lynx]]
if I can spend the evening alone with Dusty.
"So you found Tansy," Lynx says to Dusty.
"We've been looking for you. We're running over to Elmwood to pick up some garden seed."
"And it takes five of you?" I ask.
"It'll take as many as it takes," Lynx says, [[tweaking back a lock of my hair.|dw1]]
I hate having my hair touched.
"Say, you'll initiate in the fall." Lynx says.
You're old enough to go to the Elderwood this year.
[[Who will it be|dw2]] for your first May Eve?"
"Are you asking me to join you in the Elderwood?" I ask.
I know he is not.
Lynx has golden hair
and golden eyes
and all of the girls in the stead want him.
[[All of them but me.|dw3]]
"I might," he says.
"Well, then, if you decide to ask me,
I might have an answer."
I brush between him and Asa Nightingale
and [[head towards home.|dw4]]
"Tell Marjory I might not make it to supper," Dusty says.
[[I shake my head.|dw5]]
When the Pack are out together,
they rarely come home at night.
They prowl the woods all night
finally taking refuge in someone's barn
or on the floor before their hearth.
Girls do not get to roam around all night like the Pack.
"Don't forget my offer," Lynx calls.
There is laughter
and some scuffling
as the boys nudge each other
[[but I do not even turn around|mw1]]
to watch them walk away.
I love the fresh spring smell of the earth
love the new leaves on the trees
the first flowers blooming.
The way the earth warms up
after a long cold winter
the new colts in the meadow
it is all a part of Mayday.
And now
I am old enough
to enjoy some of the wilder ways
to [[celebrate Mayday.|celebrate]]
"Let's walk back through the lilacs," Sirenna says.
"I hear they're almost ready to bloom."
"You going to pick some lilacs?" Dusty asks.
I sling my bag over my shoulder.
Sirenna giggles. "Maybe."
"[[Don't keep Marjory waiting too long,|sw2]]" he warns.
[[Lynx Lee and three other boys appear|sw3]] suddenly on the path from the Meadowlair.
[[The Pack]] has arrived.
"So you found Tansy," Lynx says to Dusty.
"We've been looking for you. We're running over to Elmwood to pick up some garden seed."
"And it takes five of you?" I ask.
"It'll take as many as it takes," Lynx says, [[tweaking back a lock of my hair.|sw4]]
I hate having my hair touched.
"Say, you'll initiate in the fall," Lynx says.
"You're old enough to go to the Elderwood this year.
[[Who will it be|sw5]] for your first May Eve?"
"Are you asking me to join you in the Elderwood?" I ask.
I know he is not.
Lynx has golden hair
and golden eyes
and [[all of the girls in the stead want him.|swa6]]
[[All of them but me.|sw6]]
"I might," he says.
"Well, then, if you decide to ask me, I might have an answer."
"Haven't we heard enough about May Eve?" Dusty asked.
"It's a fascinating subject," Lynx says with a laugh.
[[sw7]]
"I might," he says.
I catch a look from Sirenna.
Her hands are balled into fists
but she is trying to look unconcerned.
"Well, then, if you decide to ask me, I might have an answer," I say.
"And how about you, little red-haired beauty?" Lynx says
turning his back on me
and turning his charm on Sirenna.
"It will be your first May Eve as well."
He smiles
in that lynx-like way.
"[[I think I know|swa7]]
who you would like to follow into the Elderwood."
"Maybe you do and maybe you don't,"
Sirenna answers
with heroic poise.
"Cut it out," Dusty says
with a growl in his voice.
Lynx turns to Dusty then.
"Why? [[Are you going to ask her?|swa8]]
Maybe //you// like the one with the fiery hair."
"Maybe I'm just tired of talking about May Eve,"
Dusty counters.
"I thought we were [[going to Elmwood.|sw7]]"
"Yeah," Asa Nightingale agrees.
"Tell Marjory I might not make it to supper," Dusty says.
I shake my head.
When the Pack are out together, they rarely come home at night.
They prowl the woods all night
finally taking refuge in someone's barn
or on the floor before their hearth.
[[Girls do not get to roam around all night like the Pack.|sw8]]
"Don't forget my offer. Either of you," Lynx calls.
"There aren't any rules that say I can't take //both// of you
into the Elderwood.
There is laughter
and some scuffling
as the boys nudge each other
and [[head off towards the south.|sw9]]
We gather up the rest of our things
and head out
on [[a long circuitous route.|sw10]]
Years ago
someone planted a grove of lilacs
at one edge of the Green
near the [[Moon Lodge.|moon lodge]]
Now they grow almost as tall as trees
spreading wider every year
heavy with blooms
of purple and lavender and white
that often find their way
into May baskets
and flower crowns
their-heart-shaped leaves
ideal for [[creating love charms.|sw11]]
The Moon Lodge
sits on the far side of the Green
isolated
in a thin grove of elder
with raspberry canes clustered around it.
The round building
rises
in the shape of a full
pregnant belly from the earth
its walls plastered
with earth itself
a cool, welcoming spot.
Men are not allowed
inside this sacred place
where women retreat each month
to bleed
to talk
to teach
and work blood magic.
[[Return|previous()]]
Sirenna and I wade into the lilac grove
the buds closed tightly
almost ready to bloom.
Sirenna [[picks two of the biggest leaves|swb11]]
she can find
sits down on the grass
and begins [[rummaging through her bag.|sw12]]
I stand
indecisive
surrounded by lilac blooms
the leaves brushing my shoulders
close-to-bursting blooms
against my cheeks.
[[I close my eyes|swb12]]
and breathe in
the promise of scent.
I choose two lilac leaves
not too large
but gently curved
a [[matched pair of hearts.|sw13]]
Do I want to [[make a love charm?|sw12]]
Or do I
[[trust the strands|swb13]]
of [[wyrd]]
that are already woven
to bring me a mate?
Sirenna unbuttons a small pouch
revealing a small curved knife
a tiny book
with pages of brightly colored felt
stuck all about
with [[needles and pins|sw14]]
and a ball of red thread.
She tears a bit of paper
from her journal
and I know
it is her description
of the perfect love
the one who sounds
remarkably like Lynx.
Sirenna stares at the paper
whispers her intention
and [[sticks her thumb with the needle.|sw15]]
"That hurts," she mutters
squeezing out a large drop of blood.
"Witchery worked without a gift carries no power," I say.
Sirenna smears the paper
with a vague heart shape
drawn in blood
and [[folds the paper into a teeny triangle.|sw16]]
"You sound like Marjory."
"At least I've learned something," I say.
Sirenna threads her needle
dips the point in her blood
and begins to stitch the leaves together
with the paper sandwiched between them.
[[`"Your turn."`|sw17]]
<<if $MakeLC is true>>Reaching over
I tear another strip of paper out of her journal.
For a long moment
I think about Dusty
and all he means to me
and before I can change my mind
I [[stab my thumb with a pin.|sw18]]
<<elseif $MakeLC is false>>I shake my head.
"I think I will
let things happen naturally.
I am not too worried about May Eve."
[[`"You'd better be getting back to the Meadowlair,"`|sw22]] Sirenna says.
<</if>>
rather more viciously than is necessary
and blood wells up
crimson bright
with a sharp stinging pain.
I quickly scratch
//strong//
//wild//
//free//
in rapidly drying blood
and [[fold the paper.|sw19]]
With a match and a bit of candle
Sirenna cleanses the needle with fire
and passes it to me.
My stitches are large and ugly
but they join the leaves
and I stand up.
[[`"Where shall we hang them?"`|sw20]]
"Near water," she says decisively.
We follow the path
past the school and the gardens
to a point where it crosses a stream.
We wade along it
our feet numbing in the winter-cold water
until we come to an [[apple tree|sw21]]
its roots drinking in the stream.
"Perfect."
I tie my charm on a low branch
almost touching the surface of the water
while Sirenna chooses a higher branch
where her charm will swing in the wind.
[[`"You'd better be getting back to the Meadowlair,"`|sw22]] Sirenna says.
I know it
but I was trying to forget it.
"Want to come home with me? Have supper?"
Sirenna laughs
and shakes her head.
"Not a chance."
She hugs me.
"See you tomorrow."
I wave
shoulder my bag
and head [[back to the Meadowlair.|mw1]]
"There you are.
I need you to go out and [[find me a birch branch|mw2]] about as big around as your thumb.
Cut me a good length of it," she says,
indicating the distance from her elbow to her fingertips.
"Why?" I ask.
"You are only supposed to cut birch in the dark of the moon,"
I say, remembering the rhyme.
"That is only for wood for the balefire.
[[Take Ivy with you.|ivy]]
It's time she learns these things."
There is a bite in Marjory's voice
which is normal
but she seems more bitey than usual.
In the clan
blood relationships don't mean very much
since we are all related by clan ties
that are just as strong or stronger
than those of blood.
But Ivy's mother Rowena and my mother were sisters
and after my mother [[crossed over]]
Rowena and Ivy and I shared a
tiny little house
with climbing roses growing up the sides.
But now I am fifteen
and [[I live in the Meadowlair|mw2]]
until I am initiated
and find a mate.
When a woman becomes pregnant
she can ask anyone
to raise the child with her
and become her mate
regardless of who the blood father may be.
A woman may also choose to raise a child
with another woman.
In the Ravenstead
your clan is based on your mother's line
and the men will move to their mate's stead
to build a lair.
If two women choose to become mates
and raise their children together
they will decide which clan they wish to join
and their children will belong to that clan.
[[Return|previous()]]
I stop.
//Not Dusty.
Please don't choose Dusty.//
Surely Harmony will not ask him.
He was never one of her mates
but she could ask anyone she liked
to lair with her and raise her baby.
She is pretty
and [[she is the Hearth-Maiden|mw6]]
and almost any of the boys would be honored
if she chose him.
"She's the Hearth-Maiden,"
I say aloud
because now Marjory's snappishness makes sense.
We use the word //stead,//
while others might use the word village.
There are thirteen clans in the Ravenstead,
each with its own homestead within the village
around a central commons called the Green.
Within the Green is
a large central hall called the Ravenhof
a small school
the women's Moon Lodge
and community gardens.
[[Return|previous()]]
Ivy dances back to where I stand.
"Harmony? Yes."
She tucks two tiny violets into my hair.
"What does that mean anyway? Why is Auntie so upset?"
"A woman usually takes
four important paths
in her life journey here in the Middle World.
Maiden
Mother
Matriarch
and Elder.
To honor this
one woman on each of those paths
is chosen to represent the stead
in rituals and festivals.
It's a [[terrible honor to be chosen.|mw7]]
And a lot of work."
"So if the Hearth-Maiden gets pregnant
she can't be the Hearth-Maiden anymore?"
"No.
She has moved onto the path of the Mother.
She has to step down
and a new Hearth-Maiden must be chosen," I say.
"Is that why [[we are looking for a birch stick|mw8]]?"
"A branch, not a stick,"
I correct her absently.
"It has to be living wood.
And yes,
that is why."
[[`"What about May Eve?"`|mw9]] Ivy asks.
"It's less than a moon away."
That was the cause of Marjory's foul mood.
As Hearth-Mistress of our clan
and Hearth-Mistress of the entire stead
she was faced with planning the Mayday rituals
and replacing the Hearth-Maiden
who would play a large part in the festivities.
"Why are we stopping here?
These aren't birches, are they?" Ivy looks around.
"I was just thinking. [[Come on.|mw10]]"
The birch grove
is a quiet sacred spot
where the trees are far enough apart
to let soft grass grow below.
We wander among the trees
looking
sensing
until we find a branch
that will suit Marjory's needs.
[[Ivy and I|mw11]]
lay our hands
and lean our heads
on the silver-white trunk
of the tree.
We are silent
listening
[[waiting|mw12]].
A welcoming warmth
flows from the tree,
and when I open my eyes
Ivy is smiling.
[[`"You cut it."`|mw13]]
I slip my knife
out of its sheath
and saw through the branch
murmuring
"We honor your sacrifice."
"I leave this in exchange for your gift."
Ivy drapes
the stub of the branch
with the chain of violets
she braided as we walked along.
Impetuously
[[she kisses the cut end|mw14]]
of the tree branch.
"There. That's to make it better."
"Silly," I tease.
"Why?
It works for babies.
Why won't it work on trees?"
Ivy asks.
[[`"Maybe it will."`|mw15]]
"So why do we need a birch branch
just because Harmony is having a baby?"
Ivy asks
as we start home.
"Marjory is going to make tokens.
[[A new Hearth-Maiden has to be chosen|mw16]]."
Ivy's eyes widen.
"Am I old enough to be chosen?"
"Not until you reach your [[First Blood]]."
"Drea Nightingale has already had her First Blood,
and she's only ten."
"It happens when your body is ready,"
I say, trying to be soothing.
"I had mine when I was 13.
Maybe next year."
Ivy sighs dramatically
because a year
can feel ten thousand years long
if you are waiting for something important.
For a moment
I think I see movement
between the trees.
"[[We'd better get back|st1]]," I say
because I know Marjory is in a hurry
but a part of me
wants to [[turn to look|look1]]
in the direction of the movement.
First Blood
is an important rite
for a young girl
the first on her path to womanhood.
When she has
her moon time
her first monthly bleeding
there will be a celebration in her honor
and she will be allowed to join
the other women
in the Moon Lodge
where she wil begin to learn about blood-magic
and dark-moon magic.
[[Return|previous()]]
<<silently>>
<<set $Lady to true>>
<<endsilently>>Her green gown
seems to be made of leaves
and tree shadow
and it melts into the grass at her feet.
She is undoubtedly [[Elder Kin]].
[[`"Look."`|ek2]]
Even at a whisper
Ivy's voice is awestruck.
It is supper time
and the great hall at the Meadowlair is overflowing.
Families crowd the long trestle tables
and there is not a vacant space
on the benches that line the walls.
The rich smell of rabbit stew is strong
and the room echoes with chatter and laughter.
[[Ivy slips off to join her mother|st2]]
by the big stone fireplace
that dominates the longest wall.
The Elder Kin are beings
far more ancient
and far wiser
than humans
and they have inhabited
this world
far longer than we have.
Some say
they came from the Otherworlds
some say
that they had a hand
in creating humans
others say
that they care very little for us
except
when we interfere with their plans.
Our stories
told in the firelight
whispered as children
tell us that long ago
when a great sickness spread across our world
destroying other steads
the Elder Kin brought our ancestors here
helped us build the stead
and now they roam the Elderwood
protecting us
from any that would bring us harm.
[[Return|previous()]]
The Lady walks forward
as if stepping from the trees themselves
barefoot
her eyes the bright green of new leaves
her long hair golden
like shafts of light in the forest
hanging untamed down her back.
"Tansy.
Ivy."
Her voice
is felt more than heard
and holds the sound of streams laughing
of hawks crying
and an owl's soft calling in the night.
[[`"Greetings,"`|ek3]] I say,
for I do not want to insult
the Elder Kin who stands before me.
"Greetings," Ivy echoes,
almost breathless.
The Lady
inclines her head towards the birch branch.
"You choose a new Hearth-Maiden tonight."
"Yes," I say.
"Harmony has done well, but her time is past.
The new Hearth-Maiden must be strong.
Change comes.
Even now darkness enters the Elderwood."
I look up.
Twilight is falling rapidly
and the wind
has a strange wild keen in it.
A spring storm is brewing.
"Choose your token wisely."
[[Her eyes delve into mine.|ek4]]
For a moment
everything drops away
and I see
the deep green forest
as the Elder Kin see it
every rock
and tree
and fallen leaf
connecting like a spider's web
and just as fragile.
[[`"You are needed at home,"`|ek5]]
the Lady says gently.
And with her words
I return to the wood as I know it
my toes cold in the soft grass
the rising wind tugging at my skirt.
"What is happening to me?" I ask,
my voice shaking.
"At first the visions were only in my dreams,
but now they come during the day as well."
The Lady laughs lightly.
//[[`"You are awakening."`|ek6]]//
"I don't think I like it," I say.
"It is not an easy time," the Lady says.
"Does everyone go through this?" I ask.
"No."
"So why me? Why now?" I persist.
"Because it is time.
[[Go now.|ek7]]"
Ivy unwraps
the chain of violets around her wrist
and holds it out.
"May I give this to you?"
The Lady nods
allowing Ivy to wind the violets around her wrist.
The chain seems to come alive
weaving around her pale skin
the scent of violets intensifying.
The Lady lifts the hand
that bears the violet chain
in farewell
then turns
and [[fades into the shadows.|ek8]]
"How do they do that?" Ivy asks.
I shake my head.
"Their world lies alongside ours,
within it, almost.
They can cross wherever they like."
"But how?"
"I don't know.
Marjory says
if an Elder Kin takes a liking to you,
they can teach you how."
We turn back towards the Meadowlair.
"Are you going to tell Marjory about this?" Ivy asks.
"Of course.
[[And we'd better hurry.|st1]] It's getting late."
The room is bright
with firelight
and flickering candlelight.
There are never enough seats
and too many dishes to wash
but the traditional clan supper
is a good time to see everyone
and discuss the events of the day.
I scan the hall for Dusty,
but he is not there.
A touch on my shoulder
is the only warning of Marjory's presence.
She takes the birch branch with a brief nod. [[`"Come join me."`|st3]]
The door to Marjory's workroom
is half-hidden
down a short dark hallway
off the main hall.
It is unlocked,
which proves she had been working there
when she sensed my arrival.
[[The center table is cluttered|st4]]
as always
Marjory's supper
barely touched
sitting on one corner.
Despite the mess
the workroom
is welcoming
dusky smell of drying herbs
always warm
it shares a chimney
with the great hearth
in the main hall.
Marjory points me
towards a worn rocker next to the hearth
and wordlessly [[hands me a bowl of stew|st5]]
and a biscuit.
She takes the birch branch
and begins cutting it into small disks.
I settle back
into the soft cushions
staring into the fire
slowly spooning up the stew
letting my thoughts unwind
until I am calm.
[[`"Did you put something in my stew?"`|st6]] I ask.
Marjory laughs. "Would I do that?"
"Yes."
"Well, this time I did not.
I need you alert tonight.
This is an important Maiden-calling
perhaps the only one left for you.
Choose your token wisely."
<<if $Lady is true>>"That is what the Elder told me."
Marjory puts down her work knife.
"I knew you had seen someone.
You have the Elderwood in your eyes, like they do.
[[Tell me what happened.|sta1]]"
<<elseif $Lady is false>>[[I stand up, empty dishes in hand.|st7]]
<</if>>
The tale did not take long in the telling.
When I fall silent,
Marjory goes back to work on the birch branch.
Feeling dismissed, [[I stand up|st7]], empty dishes in hand.
"Just put them on the table.
Pour us a cup of tea. The water's hot
and I have the cups ready."
The teakettle
sits directly on the stone hearth
close to the small fire.
I fill the ceramic teapot
with hot water
and wonder
what sort of an herbal tea [[Marjory has concocted|st8]].
<<silently>>
<<set $DustyFacts to false>>
<<set $DustyLoveSpell to false>>
<<set $DustyStone to false>>
<<set $LoveCharm to false>>
<<set $MakeLC to false>>
<<set $Lady to false>>
<<set $TalonDance to false>>
<<set $WantMaiden to false>>
<<set $DustyLove = 50>>
<<set $DustyBro = 50>>
<<set $Maiden = 50>>
<<set $Sirenna = 50>>
<<set $Nyx = 50>>
<<set $Marjory = 50>>
<<set $ElderKin = 50>>
<<set $Talon = 50>>
<<endsilently>>
Love witchery
that names a specific person
is strictly forbidden.
And I am not yet initiated
so working any kind of witchery
without supervision
is also forbidden.
I pause a moment
bite my lip
and consider...
Do I [[work the love witchery and risk the wrath|w3]] of the Hearth-Mistress of the stead, my aunt Marjory?
The rules are in place for a reason. Perhaps [[I should not risk it.|journalW]]
<<silently>>
<<set $DustyFacts to true>>
<<endsilently>>It is not only love witchery that is forbidden.
The [[one that I desire is forbidden...to me.|perfect]]
Knowing this,
do I still want to work
the love witchery to
[[attract Dusty to me|cast]]?
Or am I [[too faint of heart|journal]]?
I slip the short knife
I always carry
from the sheath at my belt
and made a quick cut
in the soft flesh
of my inner arm.
It stings
but I ignore it
squeezing gently
to bring up more blood.
Blood carries power
[[blood carries desire.|casting]]
I repeat the words
until the busy-thoughts
in the front of my mind
relax their hold
and my witch-mind takes over.
In the patterns
of sunlight
and shadow
on the water
I picture the two of us together
walking hand in hand
talking late into the night
and slipping off into the Elderwood
in the shadow of the May Eve belfire.
I bring the stone to my lips
kiss it
and [[toss it into the creek.|stone]]
I can only imagine Marjory’s wrath
if she discovers what I have done.
And if Marjory has any inkling
of my feelings for Dusty--
Through the trees
I spot Sirenna’s red-gold hair.
I hastily dig my journal
out of my bag
and [[thumb through to find an empty page.|sirenna]]
"You can't be studying."
Marjory counts out the birch tokens,
one for each girl who is eligible to be the Hearth-Maiden.
She spreads them out
on the table before her
touching each one thoughtfully.
Choosing one at last,
she takes up the dagger she uses
only when [[she is witching|st9]].
She is silent a long moment
and I know
she will not speak the words aloud in front me
until I am initiated.
Without hesitation
Marjory cuts the tip of her left index finger
and squeezes two fat drops of blood
onto each side of the token
rubbing them in to stain the wood.
"Four drops.
No more, no less.
The Dark Mother hates waste.
One drop for each phase of the moon
waxing
full
waning
dark.
And one for each phase of a woman's life
Maiden
Mother
Matriarch
and Elder."
Marjory says the words
as if she is talking to herself.
She [[scoops all the little tokens up|st10]]
and drops them into a small red cloth bag
she ties onto her belt.
Marjory looks up and smiles.
"Let's have our tea, shall we? Pour it out."
The tea is a deep red
smelling of mint
and chamomile
and other things I should have be able to identify
but can't.
Marjory takes her cup
and sits down in the rocker.
I sit on the built-up stone hearth
back against the chimney.
The [[tea relaxes me|st11]]
even more than the stew.
"We meet in the moon lodge soon
so do not get too comfortable," Marjory warns.
"You need to be open tonight, but not unaware."
"Are you trying to influence the Maiden-calling?" I ask.
"You should know better than that,"
Marjory snaps.
"I sent the same tea
to every girl who will draw a token tonight.
There is no way to influence something like this.
The one who is meant to be Hearth-Maiden
will draw the blooded token.
It is that simple.
There are no mistakes."
I close my eyes
and consider
if [[I want to be the Hearth-Maiden|st11a1]]
or
[[I would rather not be the Hearth-Maiden|st11b1]].
"Doesn't every young girl hope
to be the Hearth-Maiden some day?" I say.
"She always looks so alluring
mysterious
like she holds all the secrets
of the stead
in her eyes."
"[[It isn't always as glamorous as it looks|st11a2]],"
Marjory warns.
"I don't want to be Hearth-Maiden," I say.
"I know you don't."
Marjory sighs
and gazes into the fire.
"But you cannot dodge your fate."
I feel [[the words come out unbidden|st11b2]]
as they often do in Marjory's presence.
"I don't want the attention.
I don't want everyone watching me
wondering who the Hearth-Maiden is going to choose
to pair with me at the next ritual.
I don't want Lynx hovering over me
because he thinks it will be good to be seen
with the Hearth-Maiden.
I don't want every move I make
to be analyzed and talked about
over supper in the stead.
And I don't want to be pressured
to go into the Elderwood on May Eve."
Marjory smiles softly,
her eyes never leaving the fire.
"Harmony will lead this Mayday ritual as planned.
What better way to show the fertility
of Mother Earth
than a Hearth-Maiden who is pregnant?
[[We will honor the new Hearth-Maiden at Summer Solstice|st11b3]]."
"I still don't want to be Hearth-Maiden."
"Do you think I wanted to be Hearth-Mistress?"
Marjory takes her cup to the table.
"Do you think I enjoy being responsible
for everyone in this stead?
Do you think it is an easy job
keeping track of all the festivals
planning all the rituals
overseeing the planting
and the harvesting
and the breeding of the livestock?
Not to mention worrying about
which young people are pairing up."
My hands clench on my cup.
[[I do not dare look at Marjory.|st11b4]]
"I guess I never thought about it," I say.
"You are so good at it.
I just thought--"
"Thought I enjoyed it?"
Marjory laughs.
"Well, most of the time I don't.
But we all do what we are called to do,
even when it is difficult.
That is something you should think about."
Marjory looks at the window
stars beginning to prick the darkness.
"Finish up your tea and go change clothes.
There is a grass stain on the back of your skirt.
[[I will meet you at the moon lodge.|gr1]]"
Later that evening I walk alone
not bothering to take a lantern
[[my feet know the path well|gr2]]
and the moon is nearly full.
The Moon Lodge sits
[[on the far side of the Green|gr3]]
isolated in a thin grove of elder
raspberry canes clustered around it.
The round building rises
in the shape of a full, pregnant belly
its walls plastered with earth
a cool, peaceful spot.
At the dark of the moon
when the women bleed
they gather in the Moon Lodge
to rest
talk
and work blood-magic
and dark-magic.
Young girls
look forward to their [[First Blood]]
and the special ceremony that marks it
after which
they will join the women every month.
The torches
around the green
are lit
girls heading down the path to the Moon Lodge.
I pause a moment
deciding
if [[I hurry to join them|ml1]]
or if [[I wish to remain on the Green a bit longer|gr4]].
I unbraid my hair
as I slip in the door of the Moon Lodge
no jewelry
nothing binding
during ritual.
A stack of simple red tunics
are piled on a bench
in the forechamber.
Harmony helps
the younger girls
shed their clothing.
I hang my clothes on a hook
and [[pull a tunic on|ml2]]
as quickly as possible.
I do not want to join them yet.
It is dark
and warm
and close
in the Moon Lodge.
Usually
I enjoy the comfort
of the Moon Lodge
but tonight
[[I want to be out in the fresh air|gr5]].
I feel strange.
<<if $Lady is true>>It began
when I looked at the wood
through the eyes of the Elder Kin.
Now
it is a full-blown sense of unease.
Something is different...
is it me
or the Elderwood
that is changing?
Do I
[[step out onto the Green|gr6]]
or
[[continue to the Moon Lodge|ml1]]?
<<elseif $Lady is false>>
Something is different...
is it me
or the Elderwood
that is changing?
Do I
[[step out onto the Green|gr6]]
or
[[continue to the Moon Lodge|ml1]]?
<</if>>
I step
into the sheep-cropped grass
of the stead Green
extending my arms
closing my eyes
my steps tracing
a small circle
in the grass.
[[I want to dance|gr7]]
not the choreographed circle dances
of rituals
or even the more abandoned
circling of the bale-fire
I want to move
to the dance of the rising moon
to feel the strong heartbeat
of the great Mother Earth
as I watch the sky darken
and the stars wheel above.
My hips begin
to sway
back
and forth.
It is not a dance I have ever been taught
but it is a dance older than time
a dance from within.
[[I circle my hips|gr8]]
and the earth comes alive beneath me
tingling
up through the soles of my feet.
My eyes still closed
I feel the Elder Kin
gathering in the shadows around me
seen and unseen
watching as I dance to the call of the earth.
One of them seperates
from the shadowy circle
and comes towards me
holding out his hand.
And I must decide
Do [[I dance with him|tal1]]
Or do [[I ignore him|gr9]]?
<<silently>>
<<set $TalonDance to true>>
<<set $Talon to $Talon + 5>>
<<endsilently>>I cannot make out his features clearly
but he is taller than I am
hair halfway down his back
longer than our men wear theirs.
A striped feather
is woven into his hair
at his temple
and it hangs by his cheek.
[[I take his hand.|tal2]]
My dance is not a dance for men
or a dance that requires a partner.
I step around him
dancing in this shadow space
that is not in my world
or theirs
but someplace in between.
//[[`"Tansy."`|gr10]]//
[[I snap back|gr11]]
[[with a suddenness|gr12]]
[[that makes me sick to my stomach|gr13]]
Marjory grabs my shoulders
and [[I fall against her|gr14]]
The shadow-world
and the Elder Kin
disappear
in an instant
and [[I reach out to stop them.|gr15]]
"Don't," Marjory snaps.
"But I was-"
"I know what you were doing."
[[Her eyes search mine.|gr16]]
<<if $DustyStone is true>>I slide the gift from Hawk-feather
into my pocket
before Marjory notices it.
I am exhausted
my legs weak.
"We will discuss this later," Marjory says
I see not only anger
but an unusual fear within her.
"[[Go inside.|ml1]]
We have been waiting for you.
And take down your hair.
You know better."
<<elseif $DustyStone is false>>Suddenly
I am exhausted
my legs weak.
"We will discuss this later," Marjory says
I see not only anger
but an unusual fear within her.
"[[Go inside.|ml1]]
We have been waiting for you.
And take down your hair.
You know better."
<</if>>
A fire burns
inside the Moon Lodge
for companionship
not warmth
on this spring night.
Around the outer edges of the room
a few candles flicker
shedding just enough light
to pick out faces.
[[I edge in next to Sirenna|ml3]]
sitting cross-legged
on the earthen floor.
A tense excitement
fills the moon lodge
much low chatter
and giggling
rising towards the curved roof
above us.
Marjory guides
the last of the girls into a circle
taking her place in the middle
with Harmony beside her
as [[silence falls|ml4]].
"I am sure you all know
[[why we are here tonight|ml5]],"
Marjory says.
"Harmony, our Hearth-Maiden, is with child.
She leaves behind her days as a girl,
and moves on to become a mother."
Harmony blushes
her pregnancy not yet showing
on her slim frame
but radiating
a new inner joy.
"It is [[a special journey|ml6]]," Marjory says,
"one I hope all of you take in the fullness of time.
When you are ready
when you have found the mate you wish to have a child with
it is a joyous transition.
We talked when each one of you
reached First Blood
and you know you need not have a child until you are ready to welcome one.
If you are not ready
you need only to come speak with me
or with Demy
and we will show you what to do."
"Some of you have been to a Calling before.
Many of you have not.
Harmony and I will do a brief ritual
then Harmony will walk around the circle
with a bag of tokens.
You will each choose your token
and keep it in your closed fist
until all the tokens are drawn.
No peeking!
When I am ready
you will all open your hands at my word
and [[the new Hearth-Maiden will be revealed|ml8]]."
Harmony crosses
the ring of seated girls
and moves around the circle behind us.
The candles flutter
then still
as she returns to the center.
"We are here in a place between worlds
a place out of time."
[[I close my eyes|ml9]].
There is an uncomfortable shifting
in the circle.
We all know that.
Demy is the midwife of the stead
and the Hearth-Mother.
She and Marjory
repeat the instructions often
so the young ones will remember it
when they are
[[old enough to think about mating|ml7]].
My breathing slows
I draw in the deep calm
I usually feel during ritual.
Marjory's words blur in my ears
until they become
the buzzing of insects
the whir of dragonfly wings.
//[[...and I cross into another world|ml10]]//
//I stand
in the middle of a stream
cold water tickling my ankles
old growth trees
arch thickly overhead.
I am in the Elderwood
but not a place I recognize
odd and quiet
no birds singing
or animals going about their usual business.
A black horse
approaches the stream.
We watch each other warily
and at last
the horse bends its head to drink.
I am uneasy
it does not belong in the Elderwood.//
[[`"Tansy."`|ml11]]
Linzi
the girl at my left
jostles my elbow.
[[I open my eyes.|ml12]]
and I am back
in the semi-darkness
and warmth
of the Moon Lodge.
I let
the vision of the wood
slip away
and [[struggle|ml13]]
to make sense
of where I am.
"As we travel
the cycle of life
we become many women."
Marjory is deep
into her sing-song ritual voice.
"At First Blood
we pass from being a child
to being a maiden
where we learn
[[all we need to know|ml14]]
to become a woman
a mate
a mother
the head of a household
the matriarch of a clan."
Linzi nudges me again
offering me an earthenware goblet.
I sip at the elderberry mead
trying to [[refocus on my surroundings|ml15]].
Sirenna looks concerned
as she takes the goblet from me.
"Now it is time
for a new Hearth-Maiden to step forward," Marjory says.
"The calling of the Hearth-Maiden
is never random.
Only the one
who is meant to be Hearth-Maiden
will draw the blooded token.
It is there only for her.
The others will not find it."
Harmony starts
around the circle
with the bag of tokens.
She stops before each girl
and [[holds out the bag|ml16]].
My heart
is beating so hard
I can barely hear Marjory's words.
The thudding
of blood in my ears
drowns out everything else.
Next to me Linzi draws her token.
Harmony steps in front of me
holding out the cloth bag.
"[[May the token call the Hearth-Maiden|ml17]],"
she whispers.
My hand shakes
as I plunge it inside the bag
sifting the tokens with my fingers.
My hand closes over one.
For a heartbeat or two
token in my hand
I consider my fate.
There are many girls in the Moon Lodge.
It is not likely I hold the blooded token.
Do I keep the token, [[hoping to become the new Hearth-Maiden|hmA]]?
Or do I simply pretend to draw a token, because [[I do not want to become the new Hearth-Maiden|hm1]]?
<<set $WantMaiden to true>>
I draw my hand
out of the bag
clutching my token
tightly
fist closed
in my lap.
Harmony offers the bag to Sirenna
I stare into the flame of a candle
nervous
hoping
[[wondering|hmA1]]
if my future
is about to change.
<<set $Maiden = $Maiden - 10>>
<<set $Marjory = $Marjory - 10>>
[[I let the token go|hm2]].
I draw my hand
out of the bag
and hold it
closed
empty
in my lap.
Harmony offers the bag to Sirenna
I stare into the flame of a candle
awash with relief.
[[Who will be the next Hearth-Maiden?|hm3]]
If the Call is made on knowledge
it will definitely be Lauryl
who sits across the circle
her eyes squeezed tightly shut
as she concentrates on holding the proper token.
Perhaps it will be Sirenna
so that she can attract Lynx's attention.
Harmony steps back
into the center of the circle.
Marjory hugs her shoulders
and says,
"The Hearth-Maiden has been called.
You may all open your hands.
Speak forth
if you hold the blooded token."
I look studiously
at my empty palm
and close it quickly.
Sirenna gives a little cry
of disappointment
holding out her token.
"Do you have it?" she asks.
[[I shake my head.|hm4]]
"Who holds the token?" Marjory asks,
her voice as eager
as any of the girls.
There are murmurs around the circle.
"Speak up!"
Silence.
Questioning looks.
"Palms up! All of you. [[Let me see your tokens|hm5]]."
I unroll my hand slightly
holding it up
hoping Marjory finds the new Hearth-Maiden
before she sweeps over to me
and discovers my deception.
"Marjory,"
Harmony says softly
holding the bag
"[[there is still a token in here|hm6]]."
Marjory snatches the bag
feels it.
[[`"Who did not draw a token?"`|hm7]]
she demands.
I have never
never
seen her so angry.
"Open your palms.
I need to see everyone's token.
Now."
She is
unfortunately
close to me.
[[She grabs my hand.|hm8]]
"Show me your token."
I cannot meet her eyes
cannot answer.
"Tansy?"
Her voice is disappointed.
"Everyone has their token but Tansy?"
She makes a quick turn
around the circle
to make sure.
Harmony nods.
[[`"Open your hand and take your token."`|hm9]]
To make sure
I comply
Marjory does it herself
holding the bag above my hand
she shakes the last token
into my palm.
It is definitely darker
than the other tokens
stained with blood.
[[My stomach drops.|hm10]]
"[[Tansy is our new Hearth-Maiden|hm11]],"
Marjory says
her voice flat.
There is no celebration
no well wishes
only stares
and whispers.
"She didn't even choose the token,"
Lauryl says.
"Maybe there is a reason.
Maybe we should all draw again."
"Yes
and Tansy
should not be allowed to draw this time,"
another voice says.
"She doesn't want it."
"There will not be another drawing,"
Marjory says firmly.
"I told you the token chooses.
You do not.
None of you drew the token.
It was meant for Tansy.
Since she did not draw one
it waited for her."
There are uneasy looks
all around the room
and [[the whispers begin again.|hm12]]
[[`"Tansy is the new Hearth-Maiden,"`|hm13]]
Marjory repeats
"and I expect all of you
to understand
and honor this."
No one
lifts their voice to welcome me.
Not even Sirenna.
Perhaps it is true
what Marjory says.
//You cannot dodge your fate.//
Maybe I was fated to be the Hearth-Maiden
but
[[I can write my own story...|BetaTestEnd]]
Thank you for reading
the first chapter
of //Balefires Burning//
in the 2017 Spring Thing!
Your comments are appreciated.
[[Restart|Start][state.restart()]]
As our hands touch
I hear music
distant
enticing.
His hand on my waist
pulls me closer
[[guiding me|tal3]]
into the steps of a dance
I do not know.
The only dances
I have ever learned
are the round dances
the whole stead performs
during festivals
and rituals.
But the dance of Hawk-feather
and the Elder Kin
is different
smooth
floaty
ecstatic
and somehow
my feet know the dance
I feel it
through the music
and Hawk-feather's hands
and I think
I could dance like this
[[forever|tal4]]
[[`"Tansy!"`|tal5]]
At first
I barely hear my name
but it grows louder
more insistent
[[`"Tansy!"`|tal6]]
He turns his head
as if he too hears the voice
and frowns.
<<if $DustyStone is true>>He presses something into my hand
and my fingers close around it
but I am losing my grip
my hand
slips from his
and I cry out
as [[the world grows darker|gr10]]
<<elseif $DustyStone is false>>
my hand
slips from his
and I cry out
as [[the world grows darker|gr10]]
<</if>>
As a child I watched
fascinated
as people danced around the balefire on [[Mayday|mayday]]
laughing
singing
coming closer together
in the heat of the fire
until their springtime finery
was tossed away
bit by bit
and then they disappeared
from the circle of flames
in twos and threes
"Time for bed," someone would say,
taking my hand
leading me away.
Tucked in bed
snuggled up with my clan sisters and brothers
I could still hear the singing and the laughter
until I heard nothing
but the sighs and moans of the wind in the Elderwood.
//[[The page flutters and turns|walkMeadow]], releasing a faint, perhaps half-imagined, scent of smoke and lilac from the bloom pressed into the book for so long it is little more than a stain on the page.//
To know your //wyrd//
is to see the tapestry of your fate
woven before you.
Some believe
that there are three sisters
very ancient
Elder Kin
who weave the fate
of every being
and that we can do nothing to change it.
Others believe
that we weave our own tapestry
choosing our threads of wyrd
by our actions.
[[Return|previous()]]
<<silently>>
<<set $LoveCharm to false>>
<<set $MakeLC to false>>
<<endsilently>>Sirenna unbuttons a small pouch
revealing a small curved knife
a tiny book
with pages of brightly colored felt
stuck all about
with [[needles and pins|sw14]]
and a ball of red thread.
I laugh.
"Maybe it's because you're too busy
hanging out with [[the Pack|The Pack]].
What do you guys do all the time?"
Dusty shrugs.
"You know.
Hunt
fish
...men's stuff."
"Well,
I wouldn't know,
since [[I don't get to do|bro2]]
any of those things."
"You get to do other things
that men don't get to do,"
he says defensively
"Women's things."
"Like cooking
and baking
and taking care of babies?"
I ask.
His cheeks redden.
"There are other things.
Like women's mysteries
and the [[Moon Lodge|moon lodge]]
and I know
Marjory teaches you witchery
that men are never supposed to know."
"And [[`how do you know that?`|bro3]]"
"I hear things.
I know," he says
but looks uncomfortable.
"Well I know
that you and Badger Hill
were caught
sneaking around outside the moon lodge
last year
so maybe
[[you don't know|bro4]]
as much as you think you do."
It's true
that the blood magic
and other witchery I have yet to learn
is not taught to boys.
Marjory says
that women
are the keepers of the magic
and that men
can only learn the simple magic
the earth magic
that helps crops grow
and brings in
a good hunt.
"We need to get back to the [[Meadowlair|houses]],"
Dusty says
interrupting my thoughts.
"[[Marjory needs you|bro5]]."
"Is that it?" I ask.
"Something to do with the women's mysteries?
Is that why Marjory wants me to come back?"
"Not something I can talk about,"
he mutters
[[walking faster|lynx]]
as if to hurry me along.
[[Go to map|map]]
"It's not all holding a cup
and looking pretty
during the festivals," Marjory said.
"It's a lot of work.
The Hearth-Maiden
has to know more witchery
than anyone else in the stead
except me.
That's a lot of studying
which
I might add
is [[not one of your strong points|st11a3]]."
It is true
but it still stings
to hear it said out loud.
"At least the Hearth-Maiden
is never left out
when it comes to
choosing a mate." I say.
"Which is fine," Marjory says,
"if you don't mind
everyone in the stead
[[watching you|stlla4]]
to see who
you are going to pair up with
and discussing whether
Lynx
or Asa
or Wolf
is the best match for you
and who you are going to lead
into the Elderwood
on May Eve."
I remember then
that Marjory was Hearth-Maiden
when she was young
and that
like Marjory
the Hearth-Maiden
often becomes the Hearth-Mistress of the stead
later on.
"Was it like that
when [[you were Hearth-Maiden|st11a5]]?"
I ask.
Marjory's gaze
falls to the fire
and her face changes.
"Things were different in the stead
when I was Hearth-Maiden.
I was barely twelve summers old
when I was chosen
and had to become
an adult
far too quickly.
I've tried to make it easier
for the rest of you
so you do not
have to learn
[[the lessons I learned|st11a6]]."
"But we all do what we are called to do,
even when it is difficult.
That is something you should think about."
Marjory looks at the window
stars beginning to prick the darkness.
"Finish up your tea and go change clothes.
There is a grass stain on the back of your skirt.
[[I will meet you at the moon lodge.|gr1]]"
[[Who will be the next Hearth-Maiden?|hmA2]]
If the Call is made on knowledge
it will definitely be Lauryl
who sits across the circle
her eyes squeezed tightly shut
as she concentrates on holding the proper token.
Perhaps it will be Sirenna
so that she can attract Lynx's attention.
Perhaps
it will be me.
Harmony steps back
into the center of the circle.
Marjory hugs her shoulders
and says,
"The Hearth-Maiden has been called.
You may all open your hands.
Speak forth
if you hold the blooded token."
I take a deep breath
my stomach in
a tempest
and [[pop my hand open|hmA3]].
<<set $Maiden = $Maiden + 10>>
The birch token
rolls around in my hand
nearly falling to the floor.
It is definitely darker
than the other tokens
stained with blood.
A thousand
thoughts
emotions
hopes
regrets
sweep through me
and [[I cannot speak|hmA4]].
"Who holds the token?" Marjory asks,
her voice as eager
as any of the girls.
There are murmurs around the circle.
Sirenna gives a little cry
of disappointment
holding out her token.
"Do you have it?"
she asks me.
[[I can only nod.|hmA5]]
"It's Tansy!" Sirenna says,
her voice a mixture
of clouded anger
defeat
and restrained excitement.
She [[grabs my hand|hmA6]]
and holds it aloft.
<<set $Sirenna = $Sirenna - 5>>
"[[Tansy is our new Hearth-Maiden|hmA7]]!"
Marjory cries
pulling me to my feet
and enveloping me
in a stifling hug
that squeezes the breath
out of me.
"The token has called the Maiden!"
And then
[[I am surrounded|hm13]]
by a crowd of girls
hugging
petting
kissing me
equal parts
tears
and
shrieks.
I think
they are happy for me
but it is hard to tell.
<<set $Maiden = $Maiden - 10>>
<<silently>>
<<set $TalonDance to true>>
<<set $Talon to $Talon + 5>>
<<endsilently>>
I feel strange.
<<if $Lady is true>>It began
when I looked at the wood
through the eyes of the Elder Kin.
Now
it is a full-blown sense of unease.
Something is different...
is it me
or the Elderwood
that is changing?
Do I
[[step out onto the Green|]]
or
[[continue to the Moon Lodge|]]?
<<elseif $Lady is false>>
Something is different...
is it me
or the Elderwood
that is changing?
Do I
[[step out onto the Green|]]
or
[[continue to the Moon Lodge|]]?
<</if>>
The legends say
you can walk for eight days
in any direction
without reaching the end
of the [[Elderwood]].
On the ninth day
the trees surrender to meadow
but [[no one knows|pro2]]
how far the meadow reaches.
No one alive
in the Ravenstead
has ever seen it.
The Elder Kin know
for they can traverse the woods
in a night
but they speak little
of such things
and are rarely even seen
by people like me.
[[I am only fifteen autumns old|pro3]]
not yet initiated
not yet a witch
not even a full member
of our [[clan|clans]]
and stead.
But the Elder Kin
have spoken often
to my aunt Marjory
who is Matriarch of our clan
and Hearth-Mistress
of our entire [[stead]].
But I am thinking
of none of these things
as [[I walk|first]]
singing under my breath
towards the fringe of woods
that borders my clan's stead
I dig my journal out of my shoulder bag
thumbing through to find an empty page.
I do not want to risk
getting in trouble
for working witchery right now.
My journal is full
but little of its contents will help me
when I face the initiation ordeals in the autumn.
Drawings of the Elderwood
and my dream-visions
spill into the margins of my poetry
and pages of my rambling thoughts.
There will not be much left
in my journal
after I weed out
all those things
before Marjory sees them--
"You can't be studying."
[[I slam the journal shut.|sirenna]]
I turn my head
and Ivy
sensing my gaze
looks as well
And then [[we see her|EK1]]
though she had no doubt
seen us long before.