solutions
SpeedIF 8 (2000-01-15) [4c] [Baf's]
The solutions below are by David Welbourn and are based on the specified release or version of each game. See also the SpeedIF pages at FourCoffees and Baf’s Guide.
>x rack. search rack. x tailcoat. search tailcoat. x stake.
>search rack. x virex. search virex. x thermometer.
>search rack. x dress. search dress. x hanger. take it. s.
>x machine. x ear. x thread. x kite.
>put hanger in machine. close machine.
>n. x socks. x lady. search socks. x my sock. buy my sock. s.
>x kite. take kite. e.
>x worker. x building. n.
>x corn. take corn. n. s.
>give corn to worker. w.
>tie kite to corn. fly kite. i. x popcorn. x cob. e.
>give popcorn to worker. x dollar. give cob to worker. w. n.
>buy my sock.
Not much direction in this game. Not much point, either.
>x me. i. x pants. x puppets. g. g. w.
>x Neal. z. z. z. e. e.
>x Mamster. z. z. z. sw.
>x Paul. remove pants.
>x Ohms. x experiment. what is the experiment. s. e.
>x assistant. x assistant to the assistant. x menu.
>x cup. x napkin. ask Marla about ingredient.
>x pocket. open pocket. x baggie. take baggie. w. n.
>give baggie to Ohms.
Oh, I dunno if I can do this game justice; you have to play to believe it. (This game obviously inspired a small part of Emily Short's "Savoir-Faire", plus the 2002 April Fool's prank on the ifMud.)
>i. x list. x shop. x pot. z. (repeat waiting about 10 turns, until the sky stops raining things.)
The various items will be randomly scattered between the game's three locations. Don't bother examining any of them. However, you can't pick them up in any order you like; some items require you to hold other items first, eg: you need the banana before you can take the monkey. If you don't want to be bothered figuring out the relationships, just do TAKE ALL at each location and then again, until you've got all the items.
Or, visit the three locations and pick them up in this order: potato, corn (for) banana (for) monkey, tongs (for) octopus, pepper (for) cabbage, magnet (for) paperclips, tomato.
Then return to "Outside SHOP":
>put potato in pot. put monkey in pot. put octopus in pot.
>put cabbage in pot. put paperclips in pot. put tomato in pot.
>z. (repeat waiting and wandering until a safe falls on a clown.)
>look. take mystery. put it in pot.